Surfacing...

Stress just took me down. Way. Down. Under. Man, sometimes it just seems like life is too tough. But- we made it through and I am very grateful for that. It wasn't anything tragic, just a bunch of stuff piling up more quickly than I seemed to be able to deal with it. I didn't stay raw and did suffer for it, unfortunately, but the past is the past and who cares about it any way, especially because-

I'M GOING TO JAMAICA!!!

Actually, me and Lincoln are going with and courtesy of my best, craziest, and most fun friend, Barbara! I am so happy I decided to be "so happy and grateful" for it in advance. Wow, that gratitude/manifestation stuff works reallll goooooddd... We leave on February 26 and I am fast becoming overexcited! Linc just wants to make sure that he has sand toys which must include a big shovel...

Big love and plenty of blessings to you and now I'll conclude with my magic list of manifestation, seeing how it works so good, and all... xxxooo

I am so happy and grateful now that I am so quickly and easily attracting into my reality:
-a damn fine car, seriously...
-enough money so I'll never even have to think about it again for as long as I live in this body...
-enough joy to make sure that I laugh out loud for at least 90 mins. per day total
-all the time I could possibly want to spend with my loved ones
-a large, beautiful piece of tropical paradise on which to habitate and thrive
-a completely fullfilling and blissful existance
-my most healthy and beautiful body/mind/spirit

Frog & Snake Medicine!

Last night, after everyone else went to bed, I had a visit from a gorgeous little golden colored tree frog! This little being was very friendly and came hopping right tword me on three different occasions! I believe that when animals make their presence known to us it is a blessing and a way in which our higher self attempts to communicate with us. This is what I discovered about the messages of frog:

Frog:
DRUID ANIMAL ORACLE
Sensitivity, Medicine, Hidden Beauty and Power

ANIMAL SPEAK
Transformation through Water and Sound

Because frogs are found in water and on land they hold the magic of both. Water has long been associated with emotional cleansing. Mud, the combination of earth and water is used in healing therapies to rid the body of toxins. Because those with this medicine are extremely sensitive the use of mud baths is advised.

The frog is a totem of metamorphosis. Most frogs undergo a two stage life cycle. Eggs hatch into tadpoles which grow and eventually become adults. This signifies the awakening of ones creativity. When frog leaps into a persons life it is an invitation to jump into their creative power. To do this it is helpful to know which stage of life you are presently in. By studying the characteristics of the frog the discovery of your present life cycle is known.

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And then, if that wasn't enough, I was blessed by the presence of a gorgous snake this morning. It was just lying there on the top of the AC unit right outside the back door! Gorgeous thing it was. Here is what I learned about the massages of snake.

DRUID ANIMAL ORACLE
Transformation, Healing, Life Energy

ANIMAL SPEAK (as SNAKE)
Rebirth, Resurrection, Initiation, Wisdom

Important Snake Teaching: New Beginnings

The power of Snake medicine is creative. It is being able to shed the old and create the new, just as the snake sheds its old skin and emerges as a whole new creature. As the snake crawls away, it leaves its old “life/skin” behind, never looking back and thus always creating a new beginning. This medicine can serve as a powerful metaphor for those wishing to break free.

The snake symbolizes healing on a cellular level. Because their bodies are lightweight and flexible they have speed and agility. When they enter into your world expect swift changes to sweep through your life. These changes signify a death of the old and a birth into untapped power, creativity and wisdom. Snake is a powerful totem to have. Only those with a high degree of spiritual training, be it past or present, will be awarded this totem. It is the guardian of sacred places and the keeper of hidden knowledge.

Well, alrighty then... I guess I am in for a grand old time of transformation, metamorphosis, and creative expression via mudbaths and skin-shedding... What fun and how appropriate!

And now for my daily manifestation exercises...

I am so happy and greatful now that I am so quickly and easily manifesting into my life:
my most healthy and beautiful body/mind/spirit.
a beautiful place that I can settle into and make into our family home.
an easy and enjoyable path to financial freedom.
the completion, publication, and vigorous sale of my first book.
the best relationship I can have with all of my loved ones.
the best tropical vacation ever!!!
vibrant health through living food for myself and others.
a fun and rewarding daily yoga practice.
an enlightening daily meditation practice.
enough money to pay off our house, in full.

10 things I love and appreciate about Lincoln:
his laughter
the really funny things that he does
his beautiful smile
his wisdom and compassion
the snuggles that he gives me
his little hands and feet
his determination
his sensitivity
his non-violent nature
his contagious joy!

Bright blessings and big love to everyone out there!

PS- The spellchecker on blogger doesn't seem to be working for me right now. So if you see some typos, please understand... XXOO

Tremendous Un-Tuna!!

Have you ever eaten a raw food version of a SAD favorite and had it taste so similar that your body is completely fooled? Me neither until very recently. You have to understand that I am not too much into trying to imitate my favorite cooked foods with gourmet raw recipes (except for cheesecake and taco salads) because the resulting faux-SAD-rawfood-creation is never really as satisfying as the real thing, in my honest opinion. The one exception to this rule seems to be raw desserts which I personally find to be better than their SAD cousins in most cases. However, I made some un-tuna salad the other day from a recipe I found on the Raw Freedon Community and flipped my own self right out! Maybe it is because I have been a vegetarian for so long that I don't accurately remember what tuna actually tastes like but as far as I'm concerned, this stuff was really just like tuna. As a kid I used to love tuna grinders which are the New England equivalent of tuna subs or hoagies, but better, of course... They consist of tuna salad on a white flour roll with mayo, provalone cheese, sliced tomatoes, and loads of shredded lettuce (or if you are really lucky, shredded cabbage). In my pre-veggie days I used to eat at least two per week. They are probably the one thing that I really missed when I gave up eating meat. No, let me take that back, I also missed eating cheeseburgers... So anyway, I made this un-tuna salad and when I ate it, I swear to you, my body was like "What are you doing??? That is meat you are eating!!! Why are you eating TUNAFISH???" It tasted and looked and smelled just like tuna salad. Unbelievable. I served the un-tuna-salad on almond bread with cashew mayo, sliced tomatoes, and shredded romaine lettuce. It was just great. It also looked just like tuna as you can see from this picture I took of it...

Hope you are all having a lovely Groundhog Day/Imbolc... Big loves and springtime wishes to you all, except you Southern Hemisphere darlings to whom I wish a happy late summer/ early Autumn, right? Well anyways, have a fantastic day! XXOO

I'll leave you with my exercises in gratitude...

I AM SO HAPPY AND GREATFUL NOW THAT:
My son is so happy and well behaved...
My relationship with my husband is romantic and peaceful.
I am financially free and independant.
I live in the perfect house in the perfect place for me to be the best I can be.
I enjoy my life's work.
I feel fulfilled and happy no matter what.
I live in joy and bliss.
I feel greatful in every moment.
My body/mind/spirit is healthy happy and whole.
I am peaceful and at ease.

10 THINGS I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ABOUT MY MOM:
She is funny.
She is loving.
She is positive and optimistic.
She is kind.
She is sensitive.
She is youthful.
She is unique and eccentric.
She knows how to take charge of a situation when she needs to.
She believes in me.
She takes great care of my Grandmother, her mom...

Something is better than nothing...

Today is the first day of February so I weighed myself to see how much weight I released this month... I am now 283.5 lbs. This means that I am 2.5 lbs. lighter than on January 1st. I was certainly hoping for more but if you read my last post you know what a crazy month this was. I am realizing that it is really important for me to stabilize into an all raw diet before I start trying to get all fancy and low-fat... I tend to get over-confident and impatient and want to have all the weight go away immediately and throw myself into the low fat, mono-mealing raw thang and then by dinner time I am into the cooked food... Uggghhhh.... So no more of that. Raw is all. Raw is my only concern. I have said this before, and this time I am realizing how important it is for me to really mean it! So off I go to make myself a mango and tahini smoothie!

Big blessings and love to everyone in the universe! Peace! XXOO

PS- I'm not taking new pictures this month cause the weight loss isn't really noticeable. Next month I'm sure it will be!

Also- I have decided to put my law of attraction exercises here. I do the "I am so happy and great-full now that..." list of things that I am currently intending to manifest. I also occasionally do the "10 things I love and appreciate about ______." This exercise has helped me to strengthen quite a few of my reltionships and it always makes me feel more appreciative of the people in my life.

I AM SO HAPPY AND GREAT-FULL NOW THAT:
I live in abundance and am financially free.
My relationships are all loving and very fullfilling.
I live in the perfect house in the perfect place for me to express the best of who I am.
My first book is completed and published and selling very well.
The wellness studio space in CT is completed and operating with great success.
My body/mind/spirit is radiantly healthy and happy.
My relationships with all of the important people in my life are healthy, happy, and joyfull.
I live in bliss, ecstasy, and joy.
I have the perfect wardrobe for me.
I am taking a very fun and relaxing vacation to tropical paradise.

10 THINGS I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ABOUT FELIX:
1. he is adorable
2. he is ingenious
3. he is very brave
4. his determination
5. his accent
6. his supportive nature
7. his positive attitude
8. he is a great father
9. he is very genuine
10.his friendship

Wheat is not sweet for me to eat...

This has been an interesting month to say the very least... Aside from big doses of everyday life drama, I had some real revelations about me and food. I started out the month of January by posting my (not the most flattering) full body pictures and my weight, which was extremely embarrassing, humiliating, humbling, etc... After I made the plunge and did that I had a big ole emotional meltdown, forayed into cooked food land, did some major binging and gained about 8 lbs. putting me at 293 lbs!!! Fortunately, with the support of many cyber darlings, I eventually dealt with the whole ordeal and was starting to feel pretty great. By mid-month I was back to 100% raw and by about the 24Th of January I got down to 281.5 lbs... I had lost about 12 lbs. in 10 days eating raw cheesecake everyday!!! I was very happy. But then, just when I was getting raw full swing, money issues came to call. I am usually not too worried if the almighty dollars get too tight as I am not much of a consumer and am pretty good at stretching a buck. However, these money issues were extreme... The guy that Felix has been working for the last three weeks decided not to pay Felix the balance that he owed... Not a small balance by the way, enough to pay for all of our bills including the mortgage and groceries and still have some left over. Also, let me mention that the non-paying guy lives in a $500,000 house and he and his wife both drive very big, diplomat style Mercedes... His reason for not paying Felix was that he didn't have the money... So, needless to say, our grocery selections haven't been the best and I have gained back 4.5 lbs. eating bread, cooked starch, etc., and I am back to exactly the weight I started off the month at- 286 lbs! HOWEVER, I am very impressed with myself because I did not binge at all. I think that the 4.5 lbs. weight gain is basically just my body reacting to food that it doesn't digest well, especially wheat... And I am definately not going to let this whole deal get the best of me... I have managed to scrape together enough food to do a green smoothie feast for the few remaining days of January. We will just have to wait and see what kind of results I get.

Big love to all of you and keep on keepin' on!

This picture was taken the same day as one of those that I dreaded posting in the beginning of January. Amazingly, I don't feel weird about posting this one at all. Thanks to all of the amazing cyber love and support I recieved during my meltdown at the beginning of this month I feel much more loving and accepting tword myself and my wonderful resiliant body! I am sending big, huge, heartfelt gratitude out to each and everyone of you who reached out and helped me during my recent dark days! Your love has healed me!!! xxoo!

Inspirational Blogger Award Love Fest!!!

I have recently been honored by Shell with the Inspirational Blogger Award... What a lovely surprise that was especially since it was given to me by such a remarkably cool lady!



"For those bloggers who inspire others through their words and actions. With a positive attitude, and uplifting spirit these bloggers make the blogosphere a better place, and encourage others to do the same. This award is for bloggers who rise up to set an example but continue to reach out and support others."

Part of this award is that I now get to pass it on to five other inspirational bloggers. How much fun is that!!! So here are my picks:

Connie of the Naked Food Cafe and Banana Island shares her raw vegan journey and lovely life with spirituality, humor, joy, and lots of love. She is ultimately compassionate and remarkably wise. The support that she has offered to me on my own raw path has been an invaluable treasure.
I advise anyone to stop by her blogs for a daily dose of goddess love!

Starfire's Blog is the #1 rated blog on Alissa Cohen's Raw Food Talk! She is a Hawaiian Hula Goddess with a remarkable raw transformation story. Starfire offers support and inspiration to so many "rawbies" and is greatly loved and respected by me and so many others! Plus her posts are so much fun!

Check out Mattye Lee's Raw Progression and you will find a unique and very interesting lady with a passion for raw living. The progress that she has made on her own quest for health is truly inspiring and very motivating! Mattye is currently writing a book on frugal raw living which I am sure will be a big help to all of us living raw on a budget!

Australia's own Annette and her blog Free Spirit Life has been one of my favorites since it discovered me this past summer. Annette and her family are truly free spirits living a nomadic life down under. Her blog isn't necessarily a raw food blog but she is a raw enthusiast. Her poetry, musings, and observations remind us all how interesting life can be when it is lived outside the box!

Rawstazia is a persistent and spiritual woman who's raw food journey always reminds me of the power of faith combined with living foods. Her honesty and frankness in sharing her story is wonderful. Her compassion and understanding for others is apparent in her writing and also in the support she so generously shares with others. I am cheering her on!

Now we will have to wait and see who my five picks for the inspirational blogger award decide to pass on the love to. Remember ladies- you need to pass it on to five other bloggers each! Talk about spreading the love...

Big blessings and all love to all of you out there! Yeah, every single one of you!

The best citrus ever!

I just got back from the "farmers market" and ate the most delicious citrus fruit ever! The sign said it was called a satsuma and it looked like a larger version of a clementine but with warty skin. It still had leaves on it as it was so fresh from the tree. What a lovely thing it was, my little satsuma. Now I wish I had bought like 50 of them or something...

I'm feeling better by the day. Not like I'm on a raw high or anything but just not depressed as much and when feelings come up I try to recognise what they are and deal with them right away. I have a lot of old emotions to release so I'm trying my best not to shove them back down time and time again. Better out than in as far as I'm concerned. I am starting to form a theory about this whole depression thing... I think that it is just chronic emotional detox that we have no idea how to deal with because many of us are brought up under massive stress and in a spiritual void. Let's face it- we as humans don't live naturally or anywhere near how we were intended to. Depression is just one of the natural results of this. It's like when you see animals in the zoo who are lethargic and obviously bummed out. If they were living in their natural environment I'm guessing that they wouldn't be depressed. I know that if I had been born and raised and still lived naturally in tropical paradise, eating tropical fruit, and swimming in warm blue water daily I'd certainly be a hell of a lot happier.

Big loves and blessings to all of you darlings, whoever you are...