Wheat is not sweet for me to eat...

This has been an interesting month to say the very least... Aside from big doses of everyday life drama, I had some real revelations about me and food. I started out the month of January by posting my (not the most flattering) full body pictures and my weight, which was extremely embarrassing, humiliating, humbling, etc... After I made the plunge and did that I had a big ole emotional meltdown, forayed into cooked food land, did some major binging and gained about 8 lbs. putting me at 293 lbs!!! Fortunately, with the support of many cyber darlings, I eventually dealt with the whole ordeal and was starting to feel pretty great. By mid-month I was back to 100% raw and by about the 24Th of January I got down to 281.5 lbs... I had lost about 12 lbs. in 10 days eating raw cheesecake everyday!!! I was very happy. But then, just when I was getting raw full swing, money issues came to call. I am usually not too worried if the almighty dollars get too tight as I am not much of a consumer and am pretty good at stretching a buck. However, these money issues were extreme... The guy that Felix has been working for the last three weeks decided not to pay Felix the balance that he owed... Not a small balance by the way, enough to pay for all of our bills including the mortgage and groceries and still have some left over. Also, let me mention that the non-paying guy lives in a $500,000 house and he and his wife both drive very big, diplomat style Mercedes... His reason for not paying Felix was that he didn't have the money... So, needless to say, our grocery selections haven't been the best and I have gained back 4.5 lbs. eating bread, cooked starch, etc., and I am back to exactly the weight I started off the month at- 286 lbs! HOWEVER, I am very impressed with myself because I did not binge at all. I think that the 4.5 lbs. weight gain is basically just my body reacting to food that it doesn't digest well, especially wheat... And I am definately not going to let this whole deal get the best of me... I have managed to scrape together enough food to do a green smoothie feast for the few remaining days of January. We will just have to wait and see what kind of results I get.

Big love to all of you and keep on keepin' on!

This picture was taken the same day as one of those that I dreaded posting in the beginning of January. Amazingly, I don't feel weird about posting this one at all. Thanks to all of the amazing cyber love and support I recieved during my meltdown at the beginning of this month I feel much more loving and accepting tword myself and my wonderful resiliant body! I am sending big, huge, heartfelt gratitude out to each and everyone of you who reached out and helped me during my recent dark days! Your love has healed me!!! xxoo!