Guess what? Today is Lincoln's Birthday!

Yup, you heard me right- today is my son Lincoln's birthday! Yesterday was my birthday and now today is Lincoln's birthday! We have been crazy busy celebrating around here, let me tell ya! Linc is all sorts of happy riding his new Razor scooter around the house and playing with his new soccer goal along with all the other stuff! Now I have to go and bake his birthday cake. I tried to talk him into having a raw cake but he wasn't having any of that... He did request banana ice cream instead of the regular stuff though! Yipee!

Wishing my little boy the happiest 5th birthday ever and as many smiles and laughs as he can stand! Oh, and lots of love and blessings to all of you out there too!

I'm a 3rd world girl at heart...

So I am finally back. Jamaica is/was paradise. Our one week vacation turned into two weeks (we couldn't bear to leave) and even though I have been home for about 10 days, I still feel like I left a big part of me in Jamaica. I felt this way when I came home from India, too... You see, I don't do the touristy travelling thing. No all inclusive, plastic, environmental nightmare resorts for me! I was shocked to learn that many of those places do not even allow local Jamaicans to walk on their beaches, never mind actually enter the resort (unless of course they are there to work for slave wages...) We had a real Jamaican experience and I am forever grateful for it!

We (me, my sista/bff Barbara, and little Lincoln) stayed at the adorable and very real-life Jamaican Ansell's Thatchwalk Cottages on Negril Beach. We started and ended every day with a swim in the perfect aquamarine sea. In fact, Lincoln even learned how to swim all by himself while we were there! The healing vibes that come from that gorgeous water cannot be expressed in words...

However, the best thing about the whole trip wasn't the beauty, the sea, the food, the excitement of the whole thing, no, it was the incredible people. You see, Barbara is married to a Jamaican man, named Owen, who has three of the most darling brothers in the entire Universe. The three brothers (Norris, Howie, and Vanlie) basically took care of us the entire time we were there. They got us anything we needed, cooked for us, took us all over the place and made us laugh countless times. They were fantastic!



We also got to take a trip up into the mountains to Barbara's mother in law's house. It was an incredible and totally mind blowing experience to see how people can live so simply off the land and be so much happier than most affluent Americans... We had a wonderful time with all of the nieces and nephews, who were all so brave, smart, and hysterical! They picked fresh cacao pods for us and showed us how to eat the lovely fruit. Interestingly, they often throw away the cacao beans, which, by the way, were an astonishing purple color!



As far as food goes, Jamaica is very vegetarian/vegan friendly in the form of Ital cooking, the traditional food of the Rastafarian's, who we all know I hold an extra special fondness for... We ate at a great place called "Just Natural" and also at the more fancy "Hungry Lion". I wasn't focused on eating raw, even though it would have been fairly easy to do. I was having too great of a time to worry about it! Howie and Norris cooked real Jamaican food for us and it was great. One morning Norris showed up with a big bag of ackee, yams, and breadfruit, all fresh picked from his Mom's trees! We definitely would not have gotten that at an "all-inclusive"!



My experience in Jamaica was perfect. I didn't ever want to leave and I could see myself living there very easily. I felt fantastic and beautiful and free. I felt myself thriving and was blissfully happy. Lincoln felt the love too and it was great to see him experience the West Indian side of himself! Now that we are back in Florida and back to "reality", whatever that means, I am realizing that a major shift occurred in me during my time in Jamaica. My priorities have changed and it will be interesting to see how it manifests in my life...



Most importantly, I want to send my hugest dose of gratitude to my darling sista Barbara for making the whole adventure possible and for being such a loving and supportive blessing in my life! Thank you more than I can ever express! xxoo



Big ups to all of you peaceful warriors out there! Big love and Irie vibes to each and every Emperor and Empress! One Love!

With my head buried in the sand...

Wow. It has been very difficult for me to come back here, to my own blog, after my last post... I am finally really realizing how deep this whole obesity/food addiction/emotional pain all goes. How one thing totally leads to another... The pain of my past is trapped in my fat. I haven't wanted to believe that this is true because it means that all those years of abuse, emotional torture, and abandonment are still with me. I have spent 20 years stuffing down the truth of who I am and how I got this way. I haven't wanted to admit how bad it all was. But now, I realize that if I want to become the vision of myself as a totally healthy and vibrant being that I have in my minds eye than all of the horrible memories, visions, and feelings that I couldn't deal with as a child must be dealt with now. And the scariest part of it all is the anger that I have been suppressing my whole life. I feel like a bomb that is ready to explode and the only way to keep it from blowing is to bury it under a bunch of heavy, deadening food. I overeat to suppress my own overwhelming emotions from the past and the present. I can tell the exact moment when all the cooked food has left my system because an electrical feeling comes over my body and I begin to feel lighter, happier, and more confident. But then, within a few days, after I have lost a few pounds, these overwhelming emotions come up and I have to deal with them one way or another. And, honestly, I really don't know how to do that. As the hyper-sensitive and spiritually gifted child of an emotionally aloof (and often just emotionally absent) and completely dysfunctional family I have few of the skills needed to process feelings. I feel, as ever, alone and unprepared for the task at hand. I would just be so much simpler if everyone would have at least tried to be nice to each other so I wouldn't be standing here alone, crying, trying to clean up everyone else's shit. Sorry for whining. I really do try not to be such a wimp.

The best CHAI ever!!!

I have been noticing lately that by allowing myself to have and enjoy my beloved cup of chai tea first thing every morning I feel very satisfied and happy. I love chai tea. It is my favorite drink, period. But, I was noticing that the soymilk in the chai made me feel lethargic and started me craving cooked food immediately. So last night I put a couple of organic chai teabags into cold, purified water and let them "steep" overnight. When I woke up this morning I served the tea over ice with fresh, raw almond milk and raw honey... It was absolutely the best chai ever! I loved that it was cold and the almond milk and honey tasted better to me not having been heated up by the hot tea. This will be my new morning ritual.

Lincoln made a really great batch of green juice this am. Nothing cuter than a 4 year old making the morning juice...

I'm working on about 25 projects and 3 paintings all at the same time so I really gotta go now...

Bright, bright sunshiney day!

Update- all the drama is over and all the cooked food is out of my body. I feel so much better. I feel like there was some big emotional releasing going on due to the EFT I did yesterday. It is an amazing technique and I highly recommend it. I'll be doing more of it as I go along. I am feeling so fine and getting ready to take Lincoln to the laundromat... He loves it and since the laundry room got bombed out in last weeks concrete explosion, we are off to the land of the triple loaders! Here is a picture of Lincoln making raw chocolate sauce last winter. Aww...

What a long, strange week it's been...

This last week has been very, very, active and productive in quite a few ways. As far as the construction on the wellness studio space goes, Felix has been working extremely diligently and with multiple large and extraordinarily loud power tools and soon we will have seven (yes 7!) big gorgeous windows where there were once just huge slabs of concrete! The grand finale will be tomorrow when the backhoe arrives to take the giant chunks of cement out of the walls... Lincoln will be beyond excited to wake up to some serious heavy machinery! I will be very happy when it is quiet again...

I have read Dr. Doug's 80/10/10 book and have been experimenting with his program/techniques. I love how I feel when I am doing the low fat, mono-mealing thing but have still been struggling with the emotional eating aspect of me... I have yet to EFT myself and must make some time for that soon, when it is quiet.

My Mom, who is the the world's best darling, and I were talking tonight and we decided that we, as a family, need a happy rambling van. So whenever any of us want to get away or take a little time out in nature/camp or what have you, we will be all set. Mom is interested in learning to kayak and so it would be great for her to get away for weekends, etc. It will be good for me to have as a get away car when things get too much for me and I am afraid my head will explode... We decided that it should have a really comfortable and roomy bed in the back and Linc just recently discovered a brand new, never used, boat sized Porto-potty abandoned in the old marine store that is in our side yard. The joys of living in a boat yard... So we are doing pretty well with this whole project already and now we will just start the van fund and wait for it to show up!

Love and blessings... XXOO

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!

I have big raw love for chia seeds! I made a glorious pudding from chia seeds and almond milk with honey and OH WOW! It was so good... Like a tapioca memory. Awww. By the way, these pictures are NOT of chia pudding! It isn't really all that attractive, unfortunately. Tastes outstanding though! These pictures are of a broccoli mash and miso gravy plate (from Ani Phyo's cookbook) and a pate' platter (from my own mind). They were both delicious.

I have committed to 30 days 100% raw. I am feeling great about it and have decided to continue with my diva diet principles. I am eating gorgeous, luxurious foods and lots of superfoods. I have noticed that when I eat lots of maca, green powder, algae, hemp seeds, etc., it is much easier for me to stay raw. I guess that eating all of the concentrated nutrition is what my body really wants. It doesn't want more calories, just more nutrients. I remember reading something about how most obese people are actually very malnourished and that is why they have such huge appetites. It is because they are literally starving to death so their bodies tell them "eat! eat! you are starving!" I think that I read that in the China Study. Excellent book by the way. I highly recommend it.

I am going to start some more batches of Kombucha going again today as well as some sprouts. I'm also going to work on my website, finally. And later, if I still have more energy, I will make some bread and veggie burgers to put in the dehydrator. And also some flax crackers, especially since Auntie Yvonne had such a love for them.

Oh, Lincoln got his first bee stings today. He got over the whole ordeal really quickly though and I am very proud of him. Bless him, my little prince, with the bee stings on his arm...

All balled up...

Man, sometimes I am so uptight and anxious I freak my ownself right out... Right now, for instance, my beautiful, darling, charming, gorgeous, hilarious husband is trying, with all of his might, to get me to pay attention to him. But no, I am utterly compelled to finish this blog entry because, after all, it is what I set out to do. It doesn't seem to matter to me what I actually want, it is always about what I feel that I should do... I guess it could be that I am such a total Yankee. A swamp Yankee. A product of generations of Puritans, Shakers, and Quakers. Daughter of practical New England. Land of Lacoste and "good taste". But then sometimes, I just totally let loose and feel like I must have been adopted from the last, secret, tribe of untamed Amazon Warrioresses. Maniac style. I have quieted down some lately in the past few years since having Linc, but back in the day I could really have some outstanding adventures. I never even knew what I was going to do next. I guess that lately I have been more plagued by the "what-should-I-do's" but I blame that totally on parenthood. Which is cool with me, to be expected. I guess that my whole deal is actually that I am an extremest. No wishy washy moderation for me. I don't seem able to line that one up at all... I actually just wish that life could be one long outrageous summer vacation that never ended. Where anything was always possible. Living in a land with no limitations... But after all, that isn't really reality... Or is it? We should be practical... Or shouldn't we? Back and forth... Back and forth... You see now, how it happens, this? Get ready, I think this next one is going to be a real duzy...

Gorgeous in green...

My darling son, Lincoln, 4 years old, doesn't especially like vegetables. This baffles me, as Felix and I both love them, and I made all of Linc's baby food from scratch and always included a wide variety of veggies. He loved his veggie baby food. Since then, however, it has been all down hill, especially in the land of leafy greens. Until, you guessed it, green smoothies. They have recently experienced a Renaissance in our house. And Lincoln has jumped right on the bandwagon! Thank God/dess! I made an especially great one today, even sans bananas. It was a great combo of mango (of course), nectarines, and baby spinach. I added a little bit of honey and Lincoln LOVED it. Drank a big glass and begged for more. Hallelujah! Now let us all pray this sudden burst of green enthusiasm lasts.