Mother India...

So I have given up all the tea drinking. It isn't raw and that's that. I also have made peace with the fact that cashews aren't the best thing for me to be eating. Almonds yes. Cashews not so much. I know that raw cacao is questionable on the how-healthy-is-it-really scale, but I really like it and it seems to make me feel quite nice plus it tastes great combined with maca which helps my depressive tendencies immensely. I tend to believe in superfoods. All the ones I have tried have made me feel better and have also caused me to have less of an appetite. So I think that might be due to them providing the massive nutrition that my body needs. Remember that I was raised on some serious crap for food so I suspect that I have some serious nutritional deficiencies going on. I really wanted to eat some more of that baked rice pasta that got a hold of me last night but after I had my cacao smoothie this morning I forgot all about it. I have been all raw, all day and I feel much better. I had some energy/bodywork this evening from my friend Barbara and it was really great. I had some great visuals while she was working on me and we both got the message that it is time for another trip to India... We are going to go on May 1st, 2008, probably for 2 weeks. I am really happy about it and have been yearning for India ever since I was last there in 2000. We are going to be taking a group of people this time so if there is anyone out there who wants to have their mind blown with some serious old school guru love, let me know. Be warned in advance though, you will never be the same again... We are planning to fly into Bangalore and do the Baba ashram thing as well as Pondicherry/Auroville, Sri Ramana Maharishi's ashram and, of course, Goa... I have big love for Calangute and Baga Beach, big, big, serious love. I almost didn't leave last time I was there.

Today I nourished myself with:
about 2.5 quarts of almond/cacao/maca smoothie love!
water with vitamin c packets
salad with kimchee
dehydrated veggie snack
cinnamon lara bar
glass of unsweetened almond milk

Oh, and a really weird thing happened to me this morning. When I got up to pee this morning I weighed myself and saw that I had gained 5 pounds since yesterday. Then I went back to bed and had a really bizarre dream about a huge sale at a crappy discount store near my house and slept for like 2 more hours. When I woke up again I re-weighed myself and had lost the 5 pound gain. Strange.

Embodiments of Love...

Today I wasn't too hungry so I ate/drank:
water with EmergenC vitamin packet
vanilla tea with honey
small Cacao Cashew smoothie... Yum, Yum, Yum...
2/3 of a lara bar
1/2 of an avocado
2 mugs of warm miso broth
a few sips of ginger Kombucha

I might eat more later but also might not...

Me, Linc, and Felix took a wonderful walk at the Pequotsepos Nature Center, in Mystic CT, today and it made me feel great! I didn't get winded at all and was walking quite fast. I feel like I might just be able to sleep well tonight after such nice, relaxing exercise. By the way, my recent difficulty sleeping isn't due to the raw diet. I have recently quit a habit which I have had for some time that was quite sedating and I think that is what is causing the wakey wakey... I think, all together, I feel the best and most stable I have ever felt in my whole life. My rawness feels "real" now and not just like I am practising. I am comfortable with my ability to make raw food that I appreciate as much as my former cooked food favorites. I have also been able to make a limited amount of simple cooked food for my family and it hasn't really tempted me too badly. I just keep reminding myself that cooked food eating is a very slippery slope for me and that I don't choose to feel depressed and lethargic anymore. This has helped a lot. I'm feeling rather mature in my choices and strangely in control of myself. It finally feels good to be me. My guru, which I have had since before birth (he kind of comes along with being born into my family) calls human beings "embodiments of love". I love this and am beginning to feel this way about all of us, too. Raw food and purity of the physical body is an amazing thing for me to experience, even at the beginning level which I am currently at. I am feeling bright and optimistic about my future and the future of our planet. Love and blessings to all of you, embodiments of love that you are!